February 2009
I don’t know who I am anymore. I feel like I am disconnected from everything and just going through the motions of living. I feel like I lost the one person that made me feel good and whole and present and now I don’t know how to get that feeling back again. I have friends here but not the kind of friends I need right now; I miss Kaila and Mer. I don’t know what I am doing or who...
January 2009
it’s not getting easier
:(
on a very different note from my last post...
tourtney:
I hate going to bed in a bad mood.
I FUCKIN FEEL YA
one day
at a time, one day at a time, day by day by day until 365 have passed, and then 365 more, two years that will be (will be) better than the past two, because I will will them to be and they will be. 2007 and 2008 were dedicated to Zach, my first true, deep love, and I learned a lot; right now I am still so depressed and torn and broken and bitter but someday I can think about it without getting a...
I can't
believe it. I can’t believe it. Zach and I are done, for good. I can’t even begin to comprehend where to go from here. Yes, it happened once before, but this is worlds different. We just hit the two year mark and now everything has dissolved beneath me and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I need to relearn how to use my body. I am exhausted from crying and I don’t know...
“If there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer- Everything Is Illuminated
following Mer's example
Give it to me, I gotta get it, I want it
I'm back
One of the greatest birthdays. I have felt really distant this year for some reason, like so much time has passed and I haven’t even really participated. Out of body sort of feeling? I dunno, but it’s finally going away and I feel present again.
